The Great Smackoff (#weekendfreewrite)

“To help you get better, more coordinated, I have a plan for you.” The voice was like nails on a chalkboard to his ears and all he wanted was to find a way out of here.

There was only one door; a boring, rectangular shape as grey and unadorned as the stucco plastering that served as a spiky coating for the walls. If that woman pushed him against them, it would not be a pleasant experience… hell, it would be as unpleasant as her voice. Christ! His ears were still vibrating from her horrid tones.

She smiled at him. It was small, mirthless and didn’t quite reach her eyes –he shrank back; they hungered for him. Which would be fantastic if she was just a smidge more attractive, but with that long horse-face and emo hair-do, eyes shaped like a donkey’s dingus, and a mouth that drooped like a limp leaf in the wind… he averted his eyes.

“If you’ll follow me, please.” Motioning over her shoulder, she led him towards the single door. “Hundreds of gulls hovered inches above my head, making their shrill repetitive cries,” she whispered as she guided him into the room, a wistful hint to her shrill voice.

“Whatever, lady.”

Bright lights shone from a two dozen fluorescent beams that criss-crossed the ceiling, focusing upon him as he stood in the centre of the room, blinding him with their harsh rays.

“Don’t ‘whatever’ me,” she purred, if such a voice could actually purr. “Your resistance is unwanted but not unexpected. These lights will fry your brains like a donkey dingus on a barbecue by the time I’m done with you.”

He paled and quickly eyed the floor, wincing as the light reflected against the white tiles and shone back into his eyes, somehow stronger than the beams from above.

“You, uh, can read minds?”

She ignored him and tapped a finger against her jaw.

“As I was saying; I have plans for you to become more acquainted with our… ways. If all goes well, you’ll be seeing seagulls too.”

Good grief, she was smiling again. He wasn’t looking at her, but the disturbing grin was reflected as the light within the floor, shining out at him a thousand times over.

Her arm broke. The limb fell to the ground with a soft thud, and she picked it up, as calmly as though it were a normal, every-day occurrence for an arm to just break and fall in front of an unwilling ‘volunteer’. It probably was an every-day occurrence; he couldn’t be the only one to have graced this room.

“First, we will attempt the Great Smackoff. It’s fantastic for examining one’s tolerance thresholds.”

“T-the great smackoff?”

In response, she slapped him in the face with the fallen arm, the attached hand as toothy as a shark’s mouth, scraping across his flesh and removing his tongue.


He couldn’t speak. His tongue was gone. His face was on fire! She smiled at him again and whipped the shark-toothed hand against his chest, sending him to his knees as his sight faded.

“No, this will not do. Your tolerance is abysmal and you are useless to us. I am sorry that you wasted our time.”

That was the last thing he heard before the broken limb clawed the ears from his head. At least he would never have to listen to that shrill nails-upon-a-blackboard voice ever again. Sweet oblivion awaited.



It’s the #weekendfreewrite! 🙂 Today’s #freewrite is made up of three prompts and have been woven together to form this weird story. You can find the prompts: here (1), here (2), and here (3) — the prompts have been bolded and italicised in the writing.

I’m not really sure I like today’s writing, spent an hour or so wondering if I should even post it, but it is what it is! Looking forward to the next single prompt so I can work on continuing the sequin prompt’s Certain Chaos 😀

Also! I’m happy to say that I’ve almost completed my revision and rewrite of my #freewritemadness — I wanted to finish it by the end of December and it looks like I will! Hooray! Only three or four more chapters to go, and then I can officially say that I’ve finished an entire story, through tears and all, and did not stop because I didn’t want to cry or just didn’t want the story to end.

Then we can prepare for #JaNoWriMo ? Maybe. Possibly. We’ll see. (My partner will be thrilled… /sarcasm – being a writer is an act of neglect to those around us. I’m still working on balance. I’m terrible. I admit it.)

I already have a small idea if I do decide to succumb to madness in January, a real-world-based idea instead of fantastical, but it’s only a tiny smidgen of a thought, and is thanks to a flash of memory that decided to poke at me the other morning. We’ll see how it goes. Come what may! I could just zoom through Vengeance and finally finish the darn thing, or even Ascension. But, I’m still not sure which order the stories should go in.

Ascension – She who bears the red-hair and demon’s blood ascends to Godhood, bringing chaos to the land.
Vengeance – A mage marries into royalty, paving the way for Magisters to rule the land, whilst the red-haired antagonist accidentally summons a demon and sets a bunch of stuff into motion.

Chronologically, Vengeance comes first. But I also like the idea of Ascension coming first, questions being asked, and questions being answered in a “vision to the past” which is Vengeance. That also allows me to write the antagonist’s POV how I want. Because it’s a story being told, visioned, narrated. We will learn everything.

I don’t know. I’m terrible. Can’t even arrange my own stories. ?

Anyway! Rambling!

The image I used for the header was very uninspired and is a CC0 image courtesy of Pixabay.

Thank you for reading!! 🙂